Sunday, May 17, 2009

When will it be enough?

I follow closely to my own program and try to not take other people's inventories but something has been on my mind recently. About a month ago a young couple new to AA started going to meetings with me. One of them did some time at a treatment community I had mentioned in a previous blog titled, "Me Experience, Strength and Hope at West Central CF." They were nice enough to take me to a couple meetings and I really enjoyed getting to know them. They were engaged to be married and I thought this was all very positive. Then all of a sudden the girl started calling me and telling me how unhappy she has been with her future husband and how she wanted to call the whole thing off. She also let me know that she has been going out to bars and that she didn't think she had a drinking problem. I was shocked, to say the least. I thought they were committed to recovery. About a week later I was on her Facebook profile and I saw *recent pictures of them both at a bar, getting drunk....real good and drunk.

This saddens me. I perceived them differently than they really are. It saddens me because I thought they would be saving themselves from the pain and self-torture I endured from the continued drinking. I am about eight years older than them and like them I first started going to meetings at the young age of 22.

What lesson(s) is to be learned here? Should I be more careful about the people I allow in my life? Should I reach out my hand to help them? One thing that is clear is the need to pray for them both. The only thing they are going to find while drinking and drugging is pain and suffering. I thought they wanted to save themselves but it is their choice and it is their destiny to find this thing out for themselves.

1 comment:

CounselorLarry said...

My take on this is that they are simply being human. I'm sure they had a desire to save themselves and still do but it just isn't quite the right time.

More than anything I'm aware as an addiction counselor that I am just a small link in the recovery chain. I doubt I will ever be the sole reason someone enters recovery but I will have contributed what I can to lead them down a path that will not kill them.

And I am content knowing that I have done my best to enrich their lives; just as you have done with this couple.