Monday, June 22, 2009

Dealing With Negative Personalities

What do you do when there is someone in your life that tries to bring you down to their level every chance they get? Do you play into their negativity or do you rise above?

I am dealing with life on life's terms these days. My happiness is contingent on my sobriety and my ability to work on my disease of addiction. If life is lacking then it most certainly has to do with something I am putting off or avoiding. This time around I have jumped into the program with vigor or as they say, jumped into the middle of the boat. The issues I deal with on a daily basis are much easier to process now that they don't involve using and/or drinking. Many problems came out of that lifestyle. Many triumphs are coming out of this sober lifestyle. Many friendships, insights, spiritual moments, quiet moments, happy and sad moments, and genuine life moments are streaming through my soul today. I am touched by the little things and don't take my life or my blessings for granted. I am sober by God's grace and love. And my side of the street is clean and is in a constant flux of repair and change.

As hard as I work on my spiritual connection, the wind is taken from my sail time and again. I have always had to deal with people trying to put my light out, it has been happening since I was a child. Why do they have to bring me down? Why is it so important for them to make me feel like they do? Trust me; I used to feel worse than you did. If someone was in high spirits I would do things to bring them back down to earth. Nasty things. Things I wouldn't want done to me today. Things I don't accept any longer in my life. I treat people how I want to be treated. My grandfather, may you rest in peace, taught me that proverb when I was just old enough to remember. It is a simple lesson and works when you work it.

If someone steps over my boundaries, I try to let them know about it. I talk to them in a nice way, instead of getting violent and violating their space. I explain that they are only hurting themselves by extending hatred and resentment my way. When I get mean looks, just got one this morning at my home-group, I just smile back at them and give them a little nod. Just letting them know that it really doesn't affect me the way they want it to. I decide who gets to make me feel happy or sad. I have control and power over the way I feel, thank God. Can you imagine if other people could control how you felt? I don't think any of us would have gotten sober.

In reading this, I hope you learned that you decide how you feel and nobody else. We are all children of God, or the Universe and we are one. Have a blessed life and a blessed sober day!

1 comment:

Mary Christine said...

It helps me to remember that most people are incredibly self-centered. I don't think anyone is really particularly concerned with me enough to try to bring me down. They are just doing the best they can with what they have, and it just may not be very good. Maybe I can do something to be helpful to them?